Life after Loss “Happy birthday” The next 24 hours our families visited and thanks to the amazing charity 4louis we managed to make some precious memories such as having a cast of her hand and footprints. Now the timing of her birth couldn’t have come at a worse time. She passed on 23rd July. My baby shower was planned for 25th but worst of all? My birthday is the 24th July. To this day I feel unable to celebrate it. We were discharged on the 23rd and we went straight to bed. Unfortunately a week prior we had decided to start preparing for her arrival. In our sleep deprived state we forgot to move the Moses basket from my side of the bed. So as I’m sure you have guessed that was what I opened my eyes to the morning of my birthday. That resonates with me every year. It was like being kicked in the stomach. My Dad drove us to the hospital so we could see Poppy. I had saved my cards to open when I was with her. We were lucky that the hospital had a cuddle cot so she still looked li...
Somethings just hurt “What would you like to do?” We went into the ward to where the doctor was standing by Poppy’s bed. “I’m sorry, i’ve done all I could” he looked devestated. Looking back I genuinely feel for the guy but at the time I couldn’t feel anything. I was numb. It took a few minutes to get feelings back. Only this time it was emotional not physical numbness. He explained how her lungs just weren’t able to expand ergo they were incompatible with her body. He asked us if we would like to turn the machines off. The machines that had kept her alive for roughly 12 hours at this point. We were both silent. He explained how if we didn’t turn them off then eventually her heart would give way. How the morphine that kept her pain free would only work for a short while longer. Basically we took it to mean she would be in pain. The doctor confirmed this to us. He said that it was up to us. We could prolong her life if we wanted to. Now i’m not usually a selfish person. But once it...